10 Reasons Connie is literally the best…

Today is my friend, Connie’s, Birthday! Connie and I don’t go way back. We only met about a year and a half ago but I feel so lucky to have her as a friend. I started writing this epic card and realized that I wouldn’t be able to fit everything that I needed to say on it. Especially since my love for Connie can sometimes only be expressed in Leslie Knope/Amy Poehler gifs:

1. She’s not afraid to be a girly-girl AND she’s damn good at it.


I don’t care who says what, sometimes I just don’t know what to do with myself appearance-wise. Connie knows what the hell she’s doing and I don’t think I’ve ever seen her dressed in a way that wasn’t appropriate for the situation. She even suggested that we take a makeup class together! Even though the teacher flaked on the last class I got a lot out of it and it’s something I never would have tried if not for her.

2. She is fucking intelligent.



We met at a software company and worked on the same team for a little while. In spite of not having a lot of technical knowledge to start off with she’s familiar enough with her own learning style that she can prompt her teacher to give her the information she needs to accomplish a given task. She streamlined existing processes she was put in charge of. She’s amazing at getting the collaborative forces together that need to be in on a project to get it done. She tackles the hard stuff head on and learns an incredible amount of information in the process. She doesn’t give herself enough credit for what she does know. I should probably put this on her LinkedIn profile….I don’t know why I haven’t already….


3. …And she won’t dumb herself down to preserve your ego.



As you can probably imagine, someone as super hot as Connie doesn’t always get taken as seriously as she should. So, it’s especially exciting to be around when she turns the tables on dismissive ass-hats.

4. She takes better care of herself and her daughter than I do of myself.



Bitch has her shit together. Not only is she a single mom, but her kid is a REALLY good kid. Like, I voluntarily babysat her child on more than one occasion. Connie has a budget, she gets all of the things fixed on her car, and….I don’t even know. But, she does ALL of the grown up things. Every time Connie lists off errands she ran on Saturday, I mentally take note of stuff I should do that I never would have thought of myself.

5. She is cordial and easy to talk to…but she will not take shit.



Connie has been in the trenches of bad relationships longer than I have. In fact, she’s been writing a few of the very special ones down (I’ll post a link with more info when I get it). She’s better about not jumping to conclusions as quickly as I do, but when she finally decides she’s done dealing with your bullshit, you’ll fuckin’ know.

6. She takes commitments seriously.


Connie doesn’t stand people up. Period. She’s adult enough to say “No” if she can’t do something or call ahead if something came up. She’ll tell you if she’s tired and needs to watch tv in her pajamas for the evening instead of going out.

7. She is incredibly supportive.


Before we were really good friends, Connie came to see me in a play. It wasn’t a fun, romping musical farce. It was by a local playwright in a tiny theater, with very serious subject matter, and my character basically cried through the whole thing. Connie got a babysitter, brought friends, our entire team, plus our other friend, Cheryl (who is also the fucking best), who I didn’t really know at the time, but seemed really cool. It really meant a lot to me. I’ve been doing theater for a lot of years and people say they’re going to come to your shows all the time. Sometimes they do, but in my experience it slips their mind more often than not. I was really impressed with her as a human being after that.

Connie was my first client when I opened The Jade Room.

Connie made me hang up the phone when I called the douche who left me hanging for 3 weeks.

Connie danced like a goof behind the weird guy grinding up on me at The Madison to make me laugh.

Connie let me stay with her for the week I was between homes. God bless her! I don’t know how I got along without her…

8. She is always up to have a good time.


Connie does the club! Connie goes to monster truck rallies! Connie goes shooting! Connie goes camping! Connie hosts dinners! It’s always a good time with Connie!

9. She’s positive, but pragmatic.



She works every day at being positive, but deep down she takes responsibility for her own happiness and does the work that needs to be done to get there.


10, She’s not afraid to be a human being who makes mistakes and learns from them instead of glossing over and ignoring imperfections or making excuses.





She has extremely high emotional intelligence. Connie doesn’t just shut up and take it when things aren’t going as planned or how she likes. She expresses herself. She reminds me that in spite of how hard you can work and how amazing you can be, no one is exempt from heartache or challenges. I don’t know if I would relate as well to Connie if it weren’t for our rich emotional lives and our complimentary perception of others. 

In short, I feel lucky to know her. When we started hanging out, I’d been living in Utah for about 5 1/2 years, but I’d never fully shaken that “fish out of water” feeling. It isn’t easy to find friends here to relate to as a Non-Mormon, who drink (responsibly), and who don’t care as much about what their taste in popular media says about them as their actions do. I never felt truly at home. My sister, Leah (who I was living with at the time), was getting married which meant moving and I was racking up what was starting to feel like an endless line of failed relationships with shitty boys. Everything that year was so unsteady and crazy. I was a basket case, but in spite of that, Connie had the wherewithal to figure out that we’d get along. And her being such a good friend gave me permission to be a better one myself.

Connie, you’re amazing! I don’t know where I’d be without you. I know you sometimes feel like there’s something wrong with you or you’re floundering, but you’ve got this. I love you so much and I hope your day is amazeballz!!! You deserve a really fucking great day…and all of the cake ;)


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