I don’t think this one needs any explanation:
Oh man, I came across some of the best shit this weekend while I was looking for some fodder for a web series I’ve been writing.
I remembered that during my last round of online dating I took some screenshots of some of the more interesting interactions I’d had and MAN I forgot how hilarious some of these were.
Before going into the whole online dating thing I made a few rules and principles for my interactions. My first rule was to respond to everyone who reached out to me. After all, it’s hard to put yourself out there, but in retrospect this was actually a huge mistake. I’ll explain more on that in another post I’m sure.
I also wasn’t going to let myself get pushed around or manipulated (something that happened to me a lot dating in my early 20s). I wasn’t going to feel bad about setting boundaries and saying no thank you if we didn’t mesh.
I also write a damned good profile if I say so myself. There are a few things I know I need out of a relationship based on past experience that I clearly state. I try to mention a wide array of my interests to increase the chances that we have something to talk about. AND…and I feel like this is important: I don’t put up my favorite pictures of myself. I put up the ones that I feel look like me on a normal day. I was very clear about wanting a relationship and not just sex.
And I did meet up with a few nice people and have some good conversations, but the bad shit….the really bad shit needed to be screen-shotted and documented for posterity. Obviously, I didn’t know what I’d do with it when I saved it or I would have done something with it by now.
…but better late than never!
This first guy hit me up before I had my profile actually written up or any pictures though. The only information I did have was the basics: religious affiliation, age range I’m looking for, non-smoking…that kind of thing.
If there is one thing I am grateful for, it’s that I’m dating such a stand up guy now. Dalton, if you’re reading this, I love you and you’re wonderful. Not even just compared to other people.
Like, you are stand-alone, unprecedented great.
I cannot for the life of me remember who originally shared this video when it showed up on my Facebook feed, but it had to be passed along.
At the time, Dalton (my super-sexy live-in lumberjack…well, Wildland Fire Fighter) was in California fighting the Washington fire and I was at home, sequestered alone in my darkened living room, memorizing lines for a play I wouldn’t have the opportunity to rehearse and grieving for a friend who had just passed. At the time, Dalton didn’t have cell phone service so I spent a lot of the time in the tub, crying. Ya know, like you do.
Anyway, I saw this video and it spoke to me. This is exactly what it’s like to have Dalton gone during fire season. I mean, not literally, but it captures the idea perfectly.
It’s the constant reminder as you go through your daily routine that your life isn’t actually cool or fun…. A lot like going through the motions of making party food for more friends than you have in existence.
Or the sadness of no one hearing the stupid day-to-day stuff that you forget about when you go to bed every night but that kind of makes up the bulk of your life….Similar to the caliber of sadness that drives you to over-share your banal moments strangers by uploading depressing videos of yourself making nachos.
It makes everything I do feel trite and futile….A lot like making a cooking tutorial about something that every 8-year-old figured out right after they learned how to read a digital clock and words like “Power” and “Reset”.
It doesn’t feel like that the whole time though. It’s intermittent. But frequently enough to know that even in the moments when you feel okay and like things are going well, you’re gonna feel crappy again really soon…. It makes me think about how much more exciting life is when you have someone trying to tickle the crap out of you or eat your arms off or shoot you with imaginary laser guns.
When Dalton left this morning we weren’t sure if he’d be coming home before his next fire so I woke up early to make coffee and…*ehem*…sleep on the couch while he got ready to go. I’m lucky we had time to enjoy our weekend and spend some quality time together, but I’m gonna miss that big, silly bear of a man :)
This is a post especially for you :) I didn’t include links on social media or anything because this isn’t stuff that I think anybody else would care about. Also, I’m not spending much time or energy on making it “flow” or “look good” or “be proofread.” I’m hoping to make it a regular thing that’ll be posted at 9pm on Saturday here in Utah and noon on Sunday in Perth.
This is my way of helping us stay close by not letting you out of hearing about all of the banal crap I’ve been up to. So, let us commence:
First, here’s a little video of Leah & Steve’s last moments in Utah:
(I found out after the fact that my camera lense was a little smudged up when I was filming these. That, plus the flourescent lights makes for a pretty crappy-looking video, but oh well)
Second, this is what I’m reading these days:
I’ve been trying to finish Leah’s t-shirts that I didn’t get to but it isn’t going terribly great:
Here’s a picture of the calendar I use to track the days I workout (don’t worry, Mom, I took the picture a couple days ago):
That’s all for this installment! I love you all! Leah and Steve, I hope you guys are getting caught up on your sleep and everything is coming together! Can’t wait to hear from you :)
I made the best to-do list for today. Lately, I’ve been trying to compile them the night before so I don’t have to spend so much energy prioritizing in the morning. I have enough trouble leaving the house with my phone and clean underpants on. In spite of being tipsy and more than a little tired after hosting some good friends for dinner, as I was lying in bed last night, I made that damn list.
If you’re reading this, it’s pretty likely that A). you’re my mom (Hi, Mom! I love you!) or B). you’re a good friend brought here from your Facebook feed, so you probably already know that I am the proud mother of a growing baby business. The number of little things I need and want to do is absolutely daunting most days. I learned a lot last year from being curled up in a ball, staring at my computer screen, frantically clicking away for guidance, pinning whatever-the-hell resources I thought I might use, and skimming articles with no absorption. I learned last year that the list is king. The list is mandatory.
This morning I woke up ready to work so I hit the first thing: “Find 5 stories for Facebook feed.” I’m getting ready for a big Facebook overhaul next week and Facebook is fun, so I thought it would be the perfect item to ease into the day. Hell, I could even do it on my phone! I found a great article, copied the link and went about trying to paste it into my Google Drive spreadsheet.
I used one prolonged click to bring the “paste” option up once. Twice. Six times. For some reason it wasn’t working. I googled the issue and after reading a couple of articles I knew that it was a known bug with a couple of potential fixes: A factory reset (BOOOOOOO!!!!! HISSSSSSSS!!!!!) or rooting my phone (something I’ve been meaning to do since I bought the damn thing over a year and a half ago.
So, I decided this was the day. I needed to learn how to root my phone, like immediately, for some reason. An hour later I’ve read about 6 articles about it, bookmarked at least that amount to read later and I’m still no closer to COPYING AND PASTING ONE LINK.
I’d like to say that this is the only time I’ve done something like this, but it isn’t.
I don’t talk a ton about my business to friends (10 points if you can remember the name of it off the top of your head). One of the reasons for that is that it involves beauty services and I hate the idea of shoving outside beauty standards down the throats of the people I’m around simply because they are there. What I do has a nice little niche and there are people interested in the services I offer, but trying to get people I care about to fit into what I do feels really backward and MLM-ish to me. When it comes to putting anything of mine out there, there’s always a degree of self-consciousness as well. That’s a prominent feature of the territory when you’re inside the landscape of my mind. I don’t like to burden friends with my uncertainty. It’s no one else’s job to validate my work if I’m proud of it and I’m enjoying it.
I’m just realizing more and more that the down-side of not talking about it is that I wish I had more people to talk to about it. Making decisions by yourself means the decision gets done faster, but it would be wrong of me to think that they’re always better. I’m really happy for the excuse The Jade Room gives me to learn and grow as a person. Feedback and constructive criticism from reputable sources are invaluable and, I feel, a really important part of that process.
All this is to say that I needed a little vent after this week. And that I’m putting out into the world that I need a mentor. Or more entrepreneurial friends. And I can’t do it today because it isn’t on the list. But I’m putting it out there. And it’s coming soon to a list near you.